I'm offically depressed

Here's the deal. I went to work on July 3rd and Joel asked me "what are your favorite 4th of July movies?" Up until that point I had never before considered this question... I don't even think I have a clear understanding of what a "Fourth of July movie" is... anyway, I went to Blockbuster that day, to do a 7 for 7... (which is simply the best movie deal out there besides the public library... you can rent 7 movies for 7 dollars and keep them 7 days... a great deal... but I digress). My initial intention was to look for "Fourth of July films", so I picked up Hoop Dreams (the 1994 documentary, about 2 boys trying to make the NBA), because after all what's more American than pulling yourself up by your bootstraps and making something of yourself. Anyway, after I picked up Hoop Dreams I snagged the movie Kids. Which I also thought was a documentary, and I like to get movies that somehow connect to each other. I watched Hoop Dreams that night, and I watched Kids today, (Re-read the title for a clue as to how I feel now...)

Kids takes place in 24-hour period, chronicling the lives of some particular younglings and their friends. It has a distinct documentary feel, like you're a fly on the wall, watching something unfold in the most visceral and voyeuristic way. But in truth it's not actually a documentary. It just plays out like one. This movie is Thirteen meets City of God, in that it deals with kids, experimenting with adulthood without fully experiencing their childhood. All I could think about while watching this movie, is "these kids shouldn't be saying, doing or thinking these things". It's chilling. "I'm watching innocence dissolve before my very eyes. And I'm powerless to stop it." So, I'll just sit here and be depressed.

The movie itself is great. It's put together really well, and the acting is surprisingly good. For a lot of the actors it was their first film. Rosario Dawson, and Chloe Sevigny both get their start in this movie. I say the movie is "great' because it's affecting. It's not one of those that you can toss aside easily. It's a lingerer. These are the kinds of movies that I love. You can't shake them if you tried. And sometimes you wish you could but you can't. That's how movies should be. They knock you down from the beginning and then they never relent. They just keep you down, so that when you're done you're so overwhelmed that you have to sit and process everything. I guess two other examples of such films are American History X or Requiem For a Dream. These movies are well made, with distinct styles, and they leave your flesh crawling with the grime of the film long after the movies end. I'm not saying they're my favorite movies, I'm just saying this should be the goal of filmmakers today. To make us feel, to elicit a reaction, even if the result is depression.

The theologian/philosopher G.K Chesterton once said, "When a man knocks on the door of a brothel, he's looking for God." I take that quote to mean, that people look to pleasure to fulfill a deeper need within themselves. A need that only God can fill. "A God shaped hole" if you will. The kids in this movie, turn to many illicit. ADULT activities to fill their "God shaped hole." When the high of whatever they're into wears off, it's time to go and find the next rush. When forced by this movie, to look inward, I find that it's true for myself as well. I look to entertainment, amusement, and fun to fill my "God shaped hole". I know we all do it. And I know that God is the only thing that can fill that desire within us. Knowing that and acting accordingly I'm suddenly not depressed. Now if I could just figure out what a "Fourth of July" movie is...